[NOTE - Anyone who is just beginning to read my blog might want to read the following early entries in my blog about my sissy journey before reading this latest entry: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - – - - - - - - - - - - – - These are the previous posts that tell the story about my sissy journey.]
It has been a little over a month since my ex discovered my sissy's blog and we busted her. As you have been made privy to by my sissy, she has experienced some new things since then. But then again, so have I. I have been silent since I last contributed to her blog. Don't take that to mean I have been unaware of what she has been posting, or what her readers have offered by way of observations. I must say, I am finding this entire thing quite intriguing. I thought maybe it was time for me to share a little more about my observations. I'm also replying to the comments left by readers on my first post on my sissy's blog - Cheerleader Speaks.
May I make a small confession? This entire thing - accepting my husband as a sissy - growing together as I learned that I do, in fact, enjoy cuckolding her - has been complicated for me. And please understand something else - even though I have pointed out how this all began when she dropped the bomb on me that she had these feminine thoughts and feelings swirling around inside of her - and how hard it was for me to accept that the man I married wasn't - I do realize that it hasn't been all that easy on my sissy either. Take, for example, this most recent experience she was put through by me and my ex - the kitten treatment as I call it - you've, no doubt read her recounting of the weekend. I was there with a front row seat. That was a difficult weekend for her. Now, here is the twist. I thought it was going to be difficult for me too. I had some idea what my ex had in mind. I even tried to talk him out of it at first. But he convinced me we should do it. I've even wondered if he hasn't figured something out about my sissy that I had not seen before - her deep and dark desire to be treated in such a fashion. But I digress. I should let her speak to that. What I am trying to say is that I found myself getting off on it. Seeing her like that? Crawling behind me on her leash? Submitting to my man in such a humiliating way. I mean, seeing her on her hands and knees as he led her from the den up to our bedroom, the entire time my sissy being expected to keep her mouth locked onto his cock? It was beyond the pale of anything I'd seen her submit to previously. And then, when she wrote about her weekend as our kitten? The way she described her reaction to being called a cocksucker by my ex? I just don't even know how to describe how it affected me. I mean, yes. She sucks cocks. I have watched her do it countless times now. And I do see that she enjoys it and is very, very good at it. But no one has ever called her a cocksucker. That sounds so, well, degrading. Especially to call another man a cocksucker. But the thing is, when my sissy is sucking cock, she isn't a man. Not really. She is all feminine. And that is why she is so good at it, in my opinion. But it hit me as I read her recounting the kitten experience - she liked being called a cocksucker by my ex. For the first man who ever had me to be calling my husband a cocksucker is a turn on for my sissy. And now? I'm finding that I kind of like it also. I like the aspect of humiliation more now than I have in the past. And I'm just not sure where else I want to go with it. But I think I want to go elsewhere with it. My ex may have opened my eyes to something - some aspect of my relationship with my sissy - that I just couldn't see on my own - much like the way Andrea made me see how much of a mutual thing cuckolding her could be back in the early stages.
I have not shared these thoughts with my sissy before giving her this to post. She'll be posting it as soon as I email it to her, along with all of my responses to her readers' questions and comments to me. I look forward to reading what sort of reaction her readers will have to my thoughts. Will you think me too tough on her? Too mean? Too what? I want to know.